30-01-09

Ratio vs. Heart

T
he last 2 years have been pretty rough on me. Those who have followed my blog for a while, could read between lines that things were not looking good, as a matter of fact, they were pretty awful.

 

There were many times I thought I would not survive this, but what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. And with my pit bull mentality I managed to survive the hard times. I tried very hard to make things work, because I was scared shitless. But in my heart I knew that it could never work anymore, even though my brain was constantly saying to work at it and give it another chance.

 

Since May last year I made the decision and went my own way, I cut through cords, which after 21 years was a very hard thing to do. But I chose the most difficult way. I could have stayed, because of the fact that it would be easier, financially, practically, because of all the things that linked us, out of habit, commodity, whatever. However I’m very proud to say I did NOT do that. I chose for CHANGE. Radical and complete change.

 

I can tell you it wasn’t easy. Living on my own for the very first time of my life. OK , my youngest son is living with me, but you know what I mean. Now, some eight months down the line, I can surely say that I have grown enormously,I have become a more complete person. Instead of staying stuck in a situation/relation I knew deep down in my heart would never work out, I choose freedom, personal growth and independence. I chose for ME.  I do not claim here that I have not gone through hard times the first months and sometimes I still have my dips—logical, I am not Super Woman.

 

But I have learned a big lesson: DO NOT LET YOUR RATIONAL SIDE LEAD YOUR LIFE. Different aspects of my being, my ego, my ratio, my emotional being and my spiritual being have reached some sort of balance, but my ratio does no longer rule my life, because I refuse to let it.

The only way to live life to the fullest is living through your heart, and your heart is NEVER wrong.

 

I no longer do what goes against my grain, what does not feel right/good. And if my ratio is sticking its ugly head up to put some sticks between my wheels , I take a step back, calm down and go inside. I distanciate myself from my head and go to my emotion, my spirituality, my HEART.

 

Lately I am not very happy with a certain event that is going on in my life. I have had my ratio interfere, I have had my emotions go completely berserk, I have had loads of patience –it has become my middle name-- but now I know what it is I have to do. And real soon. Why am I so sure of what to do, well easy….I just went to my “inner core” and listened to what my heart and intuition had to say.

 

It is an advice I can give – please do not think I do this out of arrogance—but it is important not to stay stuck in the past, into situations of which you know they really do not work, although they are the easiest road to take. I call that a sort of cowardice. (sorry) Change is the ONLY way forward if you want some sort of fulfillment in your life. So embrace that change, don’t rationalize it, feel it, and after the first hard period you will find  that doors open and so many new possibilities are there for you. It is actually beautiful. I never thought I could do it, but I did, and I have become a better person/woman because of it. No one will bring me down again, and the ones who try, I’m very sorry….but suffer the consequences, because I will NOT let you.

t271317

Commentaren

Das gevaarlijk om een boek te lezen op voorspraak....
kheb het boek van les miserables int frans & nederlands.
de plaat in londen gaan halen, de premier night editie.
De original londen cast musical gaan zien in broadway en de vlaamse versie in belgie.
de cd int frans en engels en int vlaams + een stripalbum alleen deel 1 deel 2 ni gevonden en een cassetje van ffe geleden

Gepost door: txi r | 31-01-09

No more compromises My thoughts and feelings were almost the same as yours (but you can express it better) and the day that my ID told me I was single, the relief was enormous.

It was a rough time, it still is sometimes, but it was and is worth every step of it.

No more compromises, that's what I promised myself and I always keep my promises.

Gepost door: ms | 02-02-09

Amiga I'm sitting here fighting against the tears, reading and feeling your post. I could say soooo many things... but I just want to congratulate you to that new Person you became and say that I'm proud of you Miss Toureira! Big, big kiss

Gepost door: Lavi | 10-02-09

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